If Weekdays Were People You Knew
The Buzzkill (Monday):
This person is the buzzkill to every party. She bores you with the answer "doesn't matter" to the question "what gummy bear color would you be". She is the one who orders the last Happy Meal- WITHOUT the toy so that nobody else can buy to toy, since the labels say "not for individual sale". On second thought, she probably was the person who set that rule up in the first place. In summary, nobody likes her, but we all keep her around to establish what is considered the low end of the scale.
The Surprising Downer (Tuesday):
Tuesday is actually the most depressing day of the week. And that is why this person is The Surprising Downer amongst your friends. Why? Because after you've dealt with The Buzzkill in your group, you thought you got over the worse of the worse. But little did you know, you now have to face all the my-unicorn-ate-my-car-keys bullshit when you are trying to get a ride to Taco Tuesday. Like really Becky? Not cool.
The Middle Man (Wednesday):
There is definitely a Wednesday person in your squad. They are essentially the tie breaker when it comes to important decisions for the group: tequila or vodka, guac or no guac. Physically useless, but mentally reassuring. Just like Wednesday itself, they are squished in the middle of everything.
The Cockblocker (Thursday):
The Cockblocker is literally every 20something's life ruiner. She destroy all essence of fun by teasing you, and then letting you down- HARD. The tough part is that you THINK this person is on your side because she goes around saying hashtag thirsty thursday to everything like a damn pokemon, but this is just a disguise since she somehow finds pleasure in rallying people up for no apparent reason.
The Pre-Gamer (Friday):
You and everybody else in this world wants to be her BFF, and the reality is, you are probably nowhere close to that relationship. She knows nothing about you but your first name- and you are totally fine with that. When you actually think about it, you don't really see his person until Friday rolls around. Maybe it's because she is too busy preparing the jello shots with absolutely no jello. Whatever the case may be, she is the pre-gammer to an awesome weekend- until The Buzzkill rolls through to say "Hey what'sup."